Sunday, April 19, 2009

overly anxious

Tomorrow morning I have to tell my supervisors that I am abandoning this PhD topic to be supervised by other (better?!) people.

I feel like I am going to throw up.

I am mainly worried about Dave, because I actually respect him a lot and it's not his fault that he is head of school and horrendously busy. His role is basically to babysit Elliot anyway. I don't give a crap about offending Elliot because honestly he is a fuck and is one of the main reasons I am so far behind. I could not work with him for the next 3.5 years and remain sane. I probably wouldn't even finish if I did. Still, he coordinates my masters course so I hope he doesn't take it personally and make life difficult for me.

As scary as starting again is, it is a necessary evil. I should have done this 6 months ago. I am positive about the change, I have no idea what I am doing but it still has to be better than the current situation, which was starting to get me really down.

I'm not entirely sure why I am so worked up about telling my old supervisors, I actually feel physically ill! At least it will be over by 11am tomorrow.


drollgirl said...

countdown until it is done!!! and i hope they are professional and handle it well. they should -- i am sure they have been through this before.

hang in there!!!

sweet jane. said...

i get sickeningly anxious over stuff like this, too -- it's silly because it always turns out okay in the end. good luck!!

Bovrilburger said...

You did so good! Hooray for positive changes! Things will look up from here I think :)